Change Begins With You!

Nigeria, a nation with a population of more than 180 million people spread across 910,710 sq metres is richly blessed with  human and natural resources ranging from natural gas, crude oil to cocoa, iron-ore, rubber, limestone and a fertile land for agriculture. However, her people live mostly on a low standard with many only able to put daily bread on their tables and those of their family.

Corruption, the bane of our development has eaten deep into the fabric of every sector - administration and politics, education, health and even the legal system. Everyone eagerly longs for a Messiah to come block the loopholes and rid the polity of this evil called corruption. It seems to be a part of our lives, such that the policeman expects you to drop a 50 Naira note (used to be 20 Naira) whether or not your papers are complete.

Your company makes goods delivery to other companies, where the security man also expects to get something to increase your chances of getting in, else your truck might as well spend needless hours waiting.

You step into a hospital (public or private) in haste to see the doctor, the receptionist  keeps you waiting until you slip a Naira note into her hands and you wonder what magic immediately brings a nurse to your rescue.

These and many more are the experiences I have had, heard and confirmed.

The sad thing however, is the fact that everyone expects  'No Corruption' to start from the government or their neighbours. We all complain about the state of the country, when our fathers, mothers, relatives and friends are those at the helm of affairs as the Dean of department, Permanent  Secretary of a ministry, Chairman of a local government, Head of civil service or Member of house of representatives.

We wail and lament about who a 'good' man should be, but until the moment we realized as individuals that we are the initiators of the change we need, our mere talk on newspaper headline review every morning on radio and the numerous programs on TV will only end up as fantasies.

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one." - Marcus Aurelius

It starts with you demanding to be represented only once on the government payroll, don't have your unborn children registered as civil servants. Refuse to pay that policeman the usual tip even when your papers are complete, do not demand extra pay from a citizen who appears in your office to apply for passport, drivers' licence, births certificate and the likes.

Only when we see change as starting from us can our concerted efforts make corruption a thing of the past.

Photo Credit: fitandfabyoublog.wordpress.com

Letter To A Younger Version of Myself

Dear Kehinde,

Though you did not have all that would have made childhood fun, thanks for staying true to those counsels from your parent. Thanks for persevering in the face of obstacles many faced and called it quit.

However, your late decision to break out of your shell did not let you broaden your world-view quite early, else, you would have had a more eventful transition into adulthood. Being reclusive helped you shut out 'unserious' friends and save precious time, but you were too careful in your relationships. It is a wise saying to remain unspotted by the 'world', but do not make an opinion of people until you get close to them.

Living at a considerable distance from most of your peers in school was enough hindrance to your social life, withdrawing into the protective walls of your home rather reduced your friends from whom you would have learnt a great deal. You did not visit neither were you visited. Privacy is essential but must not be overboard so you can safely cohabit with other people in future.

Thanks to the housing system at college that made the choice of roommates independent of your decision. That made you exposed to the old and young, rich and poor, the lazy and the zealous, and of course, you grappled with their idiosyncrasies. This you would have been exposed to much earlier had you made a habit of reaching out to others without holding on to that inferiority complex. You really were too careful people would make an opinion of you. Now, throw yourself out, let people realize who you are and make the best out of every relationship. Get close before you determine whether to hold on to people or not.

I must applaud your penchant for academic excellence, just that your focused attention on academic books stole your heart away from pleasure-reading from which you would had a richer vocabulary base, explored the world of renown writers of excellent page turners and quickly discover your writing skills. You waited until you turned 23 before you read Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist!

Writing is an art which is supposed to chronicle your experiences and the lessons learnt from the same. You did not have to wait till essays were handed out as assignments in English Language courses or you had a major exam that required you to write under timed conditions before you put your pen to paper.

Your daily experiences if documented in writing were enough to inspire millions who might have read them. You would have boost your confidence in writing, use of words and opened your works to constructive criticisms.

Kehinde, It is unbelievable you still can not ride a bicycle, neither can you swim. You were too scared to try new challanges.
The only sport you chose to participate in during inter-house sports was the match-past, how ludicrous! Study helps keep the brain stimulated, but exercise does keep the body in good shape. For the sake of your body, do some sports!

Above all, never let your background put your back to the ground, the future holds much more for you. Work in silence and let success announce you to the world.

Prison Break

Very often in our lives, we wish we had one thing or the other, we wish we made a very important move that could turn our lives around, but it is as though we have chains that hold us bound. Not because we are in a physical prison - even though that could explain this position - but these chains are more at the level of the mind than physical.

You hope to be an excellent writer, but you keep experiencing the dreaded writers' block after which you withdraw into complacency. You want to excel as a student, but sleep seems to be a regular visitor each time you settle to read, even though you go as far as chewing gum and taking Nescafé to keep awake.

You plan to start a blog, invest quality time to do a host of other tasks, but social media seems to be a devil that eats deep into your time. You cannot resist the temptation to see every new notification. A prominent figure just retweeted your tweet! A friend just liked your new profile picture or dropped a comment on your new post on Facebook. You want to check the topic generating those numerous messages on your class group page on Whatsapp, and the list goes on and on.

You need to break off these chains as a matter of urgency, lest you end your life full of regrets, unaccomplished tasks and ultimately a wasted destiny.

Recognise Your State
First, you must recognise you are being held back by factors well within your control. You have to  come to terms with the fact that these factors rob you of your time - an indispensable and unrecoverable commodity. This recognition must be matched by complete dissatisfaction and discomfort.

Deliberate Effort
Even if you are doubtful you might fail at your attempt at this 'prison break', you must direct your effort at freeing yourself. Below are few things you can do to break-off two of the 'chains' mentioned above.

Social media makes so much information available to us, all calling for our attention. This leads to seeing so many screens but having very limited knowledge. You might have to uninstall apps that flood your phone with notifications. For example,  you can still enjoy Facebook using a browser instead of the app, same applies to LinkedIn, Instagram and so on.

I was recently introduced to Rescue Time and Freedom App, both time management apps. The former plots a graph of your time consumed by apps installed on your phone and PC, while the latter block the internet, social media and apps for a specified period. This will help you use the social media to your advantage while you are in control of your time, and of course, life.

What about sleep? You need to make the most of the time during which you are mentally alert. Do not plan to do most of your reading at night when you are likely to drift into sleep. Maximize the day, so you can do less study at night. Also, do not get too full before your reading time. There are high chances metabolism (or digestion) can induce sleep especially when you are more rested, ready to study. Reading with a group also proves useful to prevent you from sleeping, as the consciousness that other people are around can keep you awake, while you seize opportunities at asking questions or passing a side comment.

These are few of the many thoughts that crossed my mind when I saw the photo above. No doubts, there are many 'chains', but recognising your current position and deliberate effort geared at breaking away are guaranteed approaches to your prison break.

You can be free, yes you can!

Decide to Excel!

Most of my memorable years - at least, those I can recall clearly to write about without missing details - started when I got into highschool. Growing up in a small town did not make my childhood very eventful. If I am not in school, I am at home doing chores or playing with other kids. No cinemas, malls, chain-stores and  other side attractions. Life was slow-paced, quiet and peaceful.

I wrote the entrance exams to my highschool much after other students had resume. I needed to catch up with the little they had done, not to mention the ordeal of 'traveling' to school everyday. My uniform was big and funny, I would never outgrow it unless it wears out. This was aside dealing with inferiority complex. I saw rich, fresh kids all around me, most speaking 'phoney'. My lunch was never taken in public glare!

All of these, however fueled my resolve rather than dampen it. I really cannot explain what gave me such desire; such drive for excellence. I just wanted to be the best of me.

The day the best students were announced on assembly ground at the end of first year is a day I will not forget quickly. I almost doubted my full name when I was announced the overall best student. Finally, the days of paying attention to details in classwork and assignments paid off. I remember scolding my mother for sleeping off and not waking me up to read at nights during exams - as if the books were hers. Really, she was my alarm!

A laudable performance at the highschool certification exams made my transition to college pretty smooth, even though my face and height betrayed me in my early years. My naivety was evident from my countenance. Right from first year, I encountered a mixed multitude. My room had both those who cared very little and those who took their studies seriously. At some point, my room was literally a brothel. The obscenity that went down in that room are too heavy for mouths to speak.

I would have set myself on slippery ground by following their ways. Thanks to godly folks who quickly drafted me in and got me involved in a lot of activities that concretized my convictions as it relates to my faith. My performance as a freshman - despite being amidst peverts and the frequent nostalgia -  would later be the saving grace in the years to come because my best result apart from final year came from my first year. I emerged as the best student in my department in the end.

I have learnt over these periods to develop the same attitude and hunger for excellence not just to academics but to every of my endeavors. We are bound to meet people who will make us feel at a position of disadvantage; a product of what we think others think about us. Despite joining the session late, the  distance to school and suffering an inferiority complex, I still came out tops in highschool. You must not give excuses for failure.

Bad association has the potential to take your eyes off your goals. They will preach mediocrity to you. Therefore, you must consciously choose your friends. They must not be people who pat you in the back always, but those who help you along the lifelong journey of clinching medals.

It all begins with a decision to succeed. That resolution is first, your launch pad.

Lessons From My Failure

I gained admission into college just like many other high-fliers who make distinctions in all subjects in highschool certification exams. However, my only 'C' came from Chemistry - a course I chose to just get along with.

As a freshman, I had to take courses from the sciences, so physical chemistry appeared again! This time I developed more interest, just so I could get the nitty-gritty of the course. The mid-semester test came and I spanked 70%. Not bad, considering the mass failure that resulted from that test.

My approach to studying soon changed, as I devoted more time studying compilation of past examination questions as against  perusing the course material, a change in approach necessitated by testimonies from seniors - who had 90% and above - about how questions were repeated year-in, year-out. Just before the exams, I could literally tell you the answer to a question without reading the entire question. I was that precise!

Exam day came as a shock because we were served fresh questions from the ovens of physical chemistry. To complicate matters, we were made to write our answers to the questions  in black spaces, an approach adopted for the first time in a long time! Multiple choice questions was the status quo.

That meant I will provide a logical approach to solving the problems, I also had to supply the correct units without which the solution will be considered incorrect. I leave you to imagine the rest of my experience in that examination and my score overall. You will probably share great empathy with me.

That encounter has left me with a lesson  useful for both academic examinations and examinations in the school of life, which usually comes unprecedented; I cannot afford to attack every problem with the same approach I used at previous times, life will throw different challenges at me regardless of my preparation. I must therefore see a new challenge as an opportunity to up my game.

I have also learnt not to seek hard and fast rules to arriving at solutions. No aspect of a task, project or assignment should be done without paying attention to details or every constituent part. What if that slide you planned to gloss over caught the attention of the board during your presentation?

Do not leave anything to chance. Prepare adequately for every test, project or presentation within the time available to you. It has been said that luck usually comes to those who were not expecting it.

Image Credit: jamesjshaw.com

Don't End Up A Mediocrity (2)

Below are more attitudes or mindsets that suggest a mediocre personality:

Entitlement Mentality
Entitlement mentality according to Conservapedia is a state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course.
With this mentality, you feel somebody or the world owes you something. You  are so much obsessed with what others can do for you and not what you can do for yourself. Some quick examples of this mentality will be: a student who feels a relative should sponsor him through school just because he is rich, a man who thinks his brother should take responsibility for one or two of his kids, after all, he - the kids' uncle -  is very wealthy, a subordinate who feels his boss must promote him considering his long service. These and many more  reflect cases when we expect that others owe us the responsibility to meet our needs. While it is not wrong to receive any of the above benefits, it is totally up to the donor to decide whether or not to do so.

Mediocrities expect the most from government, from relatives and their bosses. They expect government to attend to each and every social need, they blame government or their 'unappreciative' boss for a job loss. The way out of this is to empower yourself to meet your needs. Do not give other people's negligence to your needs as excuse for not achieving excellence. Take responsibility for your life! The richest people in the world today are those who came up with products that either changed the world or leveraged on already existing inventions. Think about Bill Gates' dream of having a computer in every home in the world, Mark Zuckerberg's goal of seeing family and friends remain connected, Steve Jobs of Apple,  Larry Page and Sergey Brin of Google. These are people whose ideas completely revolutionized the world, transformed the way we do business and opened up businesses for other people. They 'pushed' the borders!

A Feeling that Others Demand Too Much
Another indicator that you are settling for mediocrity would be  a feeling that others on your team are perfectionists or are demanding too much from you. If your daily, weekly or monthly reports are always deemed 'not detailed' or others in your team constantly have to start afresh with tasks you submitted as complete or when you feel the expectations of others are too high, you might consider stepping up your game. There is something about excellence you need to learn because in the end, your productivity will affect those of others. Management may decide to excuse you so your attitude does not affect other employees.

Generalizing Failure
Imagine every other person scores 40% and below on a test while you score 50%, it is easy to feel a sense of comfort even though you just managed to clinch average, 'at least, all others failed!'. What happened to the remaining 50% mark? You must not see other's failure as an excuse to remain mediocre. It is your responsibility to determine how far you want to go, how excellently you want to perform. Other people's complacency must not make you settle for less. Yes, you are not competing with anybody, but your current class, team or organisation might just be a bunch of average minds. Do not let them cloud your 'sense of excellence' Mediocre organisations  do not attract top-performers.

By considering all these attitudes of a mediocrity, it is obvious we choose to be mediocre in one or more aspects of our lives while we strive to attain the peak of the 'mountain' in other aspects. Our goal however must be to avoid and consciously shut-out a mentality of dependence, entitlement or the comfort of generalizing failure. Don't just be good, better, or average. Be the best, strive for excellence!

Image Credit: brightdrops.com

Don't End Up A Mediocrity (1)

Mediocrity simply connotes the quality of being average or ordinary. The word has Latin parts that together literally mean "halfway up the mountain" (vocabulary.com). This simple yet powerful definition brings lots of applications of the word to the fore. A student who just wants a pass - a narrow escape from 'fail' or 'let my people go' as it is commonly said in Nigeria, a business man who just wants to turnover - make enough to offset cost of employing staff and other expenditures. These and many more are the typical examples of people who want to get halfway up the ladder of success. You stay around them for too long and you are bound to hear words like, 'at least I tried', 'I almost.., but...', 'It's not my fault, if not for...'

A mediocrity does not set goals. At best, he sets goals that are below par. He sees others as his yardstick for measuring success, based on metrics dictated by them. History is replete with men who defied the odds to write their name in gold, but who ever remembers a mediocrity? The following are behaviours and attitudes that suggest you might end up mediocre.

Mindset - Lack of Mental Transition
A mediocrity cannot get to the peak of the 'mountain' because deep down in his mind, he has not decided to get there. He sees himself as average, second-class, never able to measure up and perpetually disadvantaged. In other words, a mediocrity suffers from low self-esteem. He has not made that mental transition that he can achieve success. This is important and the first step of conquering mediocre mindset because, first, you have to recognise the fact that you have not decided to be successful. Though difficult to believe, it is true to say that not every one decides (or has decided) to be successful (in this context - to get to the peak or demonstrate excellence) in whatever endeavor they venture (or have ventured into).

Therefore, you have to consciously decide to be above average or settle for less. Yes, you might not always meet your expectations, but your reaction to a failure or an outcome short of your expectation gives strong indications whether or not you are mediocre. If you sit back to exonerate yourself and are comfortable with your poor performance, you are a mediocrity, but if you choose to inquire into why you achieved those results short of your mark, learn from them, you then make deliberate effort to improve on your performance, you are on your way to the peak!

Dependence Mentality
This is way of thinking that suggests to you that you have to depend on someone or a group to attain your goals. This is not to downplay the importance of mentors, colleagues and friends who will be instrumental to our success, same way other factors beyond our control -  government policies, economic condition and other restrictions - can seriously affect business, career and other ventures. Dependence mentality however forces you into thinking and admitting that you can not achieve your goals without the existence of someone else, mostly your parent or whoever you think should be responsible for you. Mediocrities do not take responsibility for their lives, they blame their parents for not sending them to top schools, for not buying them a car at 18, for not using their connection to get them a job at graduation or providing seed capital for starting their business.

You cannot afford to settle for mediocrity. See more indicators of mediocrity in my next post!

Image Credit: skylinetradeshowtips.com